Monitoring your child's communication (phones)

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

When I was a child, parents could check in on the lives of their children by monitoring who came around, listening to conversations in the house and even eavesdropping on land-line phone conversations. However, what has not been very long in real time is several generations ago technologically. Since my ability to hold verbal conversation, mobile phones have gone from rare, obnoxiously large satellite-looking devices to mini-computers with SMS, email, internet, bluetooth, voice and now video chat. How do parents continue to monitor their child's communication?

The first needed tool to successfully monitoring your child's communication is knowing that there is a need to monitor. As demonstrated in the teacher-text messaging fiasco, threats to your child can come from unlikely sources. Indeed, children are not fully able to determine less ideal companions and can develop inappropriate bonds with individuals if not protected. Because of the sense of independence fostered by contemporary technology, children may feel more competent than they actually are, and not feel the need to check-in about various persons or conversations that may be questionable. A reasonable adult can determine that 5000 texts exchanged between pupil and teacher is bizarre, but you should not assume that your child is capable prematurely.

Depending on your comfort level, there are different ways to monitor what your child is doing. The more honest and direct way is to set up the expectation that you will randomly check up whom the child is texting and calling on their phone. Children should understand that the phone isn't actually theirs; rather, it is a device used primarily to make communication within family more convenient that they can also use for personal pleasure. Setting up the expectation of check-ups while holding developmentally appropriate conversations about who to communicate with can go a long way.

Alternatively, one can install software that allows the parent to track whom the child is communicating with and how frequently. One possibility is the Radar software (described in the link below) that sends alerts to your phone about your child's interactions. Mixing this with the direct approach is probably ideal.

The reality is that we can longer expect to easily check-in on children to ensure they are having safe interactions. While we should not assume that everyone is a creep, do not give benefit of the doubt with strangers (especially if your child hasn't mentioned the person!) and adults. Adults see lines in the sand that children don't, and we have to teach them how to while we identify it for them in the meantime.

http://news.cnet.com/Software-lets-parents-monitor-kids-calls/2009-1025_3-6195666.html

Always,

Dwight