Communicating with the teacher

If I ever tell you a secret about teachers that you should remember, remember this: teachers never neglect children whose parents are ever-present. Most teachers feel pressured to ensure that the child succeeds. While I suspect that this is connected to teachers not being able to blame the shortcomings of the child on parents as easily, some of it no doubt comes from feeling supported. So, how does communicating with the teacher about your child look?

As far as time frame, there are definitely some things to consider when leaving an impression with the teacher. The first week of school is a wash. It's not surprising to see parents show up then, and it is difficult to remember most parents anyway. However, showing up weeks 2 and 3 makes a big difference. By week 3 especially, teachers are starting to formulate ideas of their students' personalities and academic needs, and can have more purposeful dialogue with parents. Also, we are not as overwhelmed with so many new faces and can have a more lasting impression made by a parent. But, don't stop there. Check in at least once a month during the school year to remind teaches that you're on top of them. And, check homework! With homework being submitted, you are giving the ultimate communication that you are on the teacher's side

Now, what modes of communication are effective? While all are acceptable, some are definitely more ideal. While this certainly varies based on the teacher's style, email and text messaging are my modes of choice. Popping in or setting up sit downs are nice, but they also take away my planning or personal time. Obviously, a solid teacher will accept these requests, but outside of urgent situations, they will probably find them unwarranted. Phone calls can be a bit awkward because of various circumstances, including timing, location, unpredictability and vagueness of tone. A lot of teachers like to address issues in their comfort zone (location and time), which can be taken away with face-to-face meetings and phone calls. Emails and text messages, on the other hand, allow for teachers to consider the best solution/answer to your concern and feel confident that they are providing the best professional response. It is easier to include complimentary documents or other resources as well. Since this is my preference and not based on empirical data, I would use a combination of modes of communication. Better yet...ask the teacher what they prefer!

Don't be afraid to provide background on your child, express your hopes and concerns, and offer support throughout the year. It will make your child's education far easier for you, the child and the teacher.

Always,
Dwight

Communicating the importance of education at home

As a teacher, it is always frustrating to feel as if education is not being valued at home. While some parents simply don't value education, others overlook the importance of adequately communicating the importance of education with their child. By working with students, checking up on them and motivating them to use their education, parents can communicate to their child how importance they feel education is for them.

At my school and many others, teachers or the whole school have provided students access to sites that allow them to practice their skills at home with immediate feedback. Two of these sites are StudyIsland.com and IXL.com. StudyIsland provides work for state standards in Reading and Math (more on the way) for students. Not only can students work on questions, there are games (associated with questions, of course!), lessons, print outs AND teachers can personalize work for their class or a particular student. Parents can view how their child is doing in comparison to other students at the school level, state level and national level. IXL has a lot of similar features, but focuses on math exclusively.

In addition to working with students, parents should display a genuine interest in their child's learning and motivate them to use the education. While there are many ways to show interest (talking to teachers, coming to school, checking homework, etc), simply talking to your child about their learning everyday can go a long way. Not only does it help your child develop their communication skills (added bonus!), it reinforces daily that their life and education are important to you. If you couple this with ideas of using their wonderful education in the future, you are communicating to your child that education is important and valuable.

Always,
Dwight

Teaching honest communication to kids

(image copied from Delvin's article)

Doesn't seem like society has forgotten that stealing is wrong? Most people with internet access steal music, which is arguably trivial but still an indication of the acceptance of piracy. However, when considering your child's education, it is important to explain the inappropriateness of stealing ideas in the form of plagiarism.

As society's reliance on the internet increases, there seems to be an increase in the ambiguity of what is plagiarism when doing schoolwork. According to the New York Times, "despite all of the plagiarism alarms sounded, it is getting less not more clear to students what is stealing and what isn't when it comes to the written word on the web" (Delvin). Students are reading information online through search engines, wikis and blogs, and treating the information as their own rather than knowledge worthy as citation. There appears to be a considerable amount of obliviousness when students plagiarize in student work.

There are also those students who consciously plagiarize, but doesn't see it as a big deal. While it is alarming that students are losing a grasp of what cheating is, "the scarier finding is that the number of students who believe copying from the Internet to be considered "serious cheating" is going down -- 29 percent consider it serious business in recent surveys compared with 34 percent in earlier surveys" (Delvin). Our students are simply not respecting the idea of original ideas and work. While this is not new (my alma mater created the strict honor code in response to cheating in the 19th century), it is getting worse because of the everlasting resource of the internet.

As adults (especially parents), we should teach children at a young age what plagiarism is and why it is important to avoid it. Videos such as the one hyper-linked below provide a thorough lesson on what plagiarism is and how to avoid it. But, we should also discuss virtue and integrity, and teach our kids to value honesty. Students should be taught that when we submit academic work, we are communicating to the teacher and anyone else who reads our work what our knowledge of the topic is at that moment. As we teach our kids how to communicate, we should be sure to teach them that honestly communicating their knowledge is very important.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EqPkMN5S3g

Always,
Dwight

Delvin, Dory (2010), "Have the talk with your kids...about plagiarism and the web" Shine from Yahoo.com retrieved May 23, 2011 from<http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/have-the-talk-with-your-kids-about-plagiarism-and-the-web-2215361>

Monitoring your child's communication pt. 2 (facebook, twitter, etc.)

Perhaps more dangerous and pertinent than SMS and voice-calls on cell phones is the world-wide communication provided to children by the internet. On popular sites like Facebook and Twitter, children of all ages are able to communicate with school friends and any other person registered to the websites. Because of the long-term and extreme impact these interactions have, it is extremely important that guardians protect their children on these sites.

The presence of these social sites is extremely large in children's lives and promises to only increase. It was recently announced that "Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is willing to alter the site's regulations to permit children under 13 to join, he said recently" (Roge). This decision will open the door for children who were incapable morally or skillfully from joining the site before. With the surge in child membership, social interactions will continue to transition to the cyber world for our kids. And, for "minors who lack the experience or judgment to use a social network, this raises the scary potential of sexual predators tracking down kids who reveal their age in an online chat, cyberbullying and more" (Roge).

Parents are much better off teaching their kids how to use these sites rather than trying to prevent them from using it. Hoping that the fad dissipates isn't a wise strategy because "Facebook and social networks aren't going away anytime soon, and the better parents understand this, the more they'll be able to help their kids comprehend the medium" (Barseghian). Kids should learn how to deal with bullying and public insults to avoid extreme acts (suicides are becoming more typical for minors using social websites, as reported by Barseghian) and depression. Students should learn how the average person makes use of this site, and also learn to balance their cyber world with the real world.

For ambitious families, the most important thing we can teach our kids is the long-term impact of their cyber interactions. At a young age (seemingly well beyond that!), posts can be instinctual and impetuous, but these posts will last as long as plastics in the Pacific Ocean. Although they are not mature enough to represent themselves strategically to the public, children need to learn "that their digital footprint is born from the moment they start posting on each other's walls and create their first online avatar. They'll have to figure out that every YouTube video they upload will be a reflection of themselves as the public sees them. With guidance from parents and educators, they can figure out what the world knows about them" (Barseghian). Hopefully, this message will make kids think twice about who they interact with and what they say.

When all else fails, hire a spy on your children. Whether it's a family member, friend, friend of a friend, or yourself, someone should monitor the child's page from time to time to ensure nothing bizarre is taking place. But, don't jump on small things! Doing so will have the child creatively hide what they are doing, which doesn't help. Address minor issues in calculated conversations that should occur anyway. Don't wait until issues flare to talk to your child. Consistently show interest in the lives and make sure no one is monitoring them more than you.

Always,
Dwight

Barseghian, Tina, "Children and Facebook: the promise and pitfalls for social media" (5.20.2011), http://www.pbs.org/mediashift/2011/05/children-and-facebook-the-promise-and-pitfalls-for-social-media140.html

Roge, Thierry, Foxnews.com, "Facebook founder welcomes kids under 13 on site" (5.23.2011), http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/05/23/facebook-founder-welcomes-kids-13-site/#ixzz1NDnVbink

Monitoring your child's communication (phones)

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

When I was a child, parents could check in on the lives of their children by monitoring who came around, listening to conversations in the house and even eavesdropping on land-line phone conversations. However, what has not been very long in real time is several generations ago technologically. Since my ability to hold verbal conversation, mobile phones have gone from rare, obnoxiously large satellite-looking devices to mini-computers with SMS, email, internet, bluetooth, voice and now video chat. How do parents continue to monitor their child's communication?

The first needed tool to successfully monitoring your child's communication is knowing that there is a need to monitor. As demonstrated in the teacher-text messaging fiasco, threats to your child can come from unlikely sources. Indeed, children are not fully able to determine less ideal companions and can develop inappropriate bonds with individuals if not protected. Because of the sense of independence fostered by contemporary technology, children may feel more competent than they actually are, and not feel the need to check-in about various persons or conversations that may be questionable. A reasonable adult can determine that 5000 texts exchanged between pupil and teacher is bizarre, but you should not assume that your child is capable prematurely.

Depending on your comfort level, there are different ways to monitor what your child is doing. The more honest and direct way is to set up the expectation that you will randomly check up whom the child is texting and calling on their phone. Children should understand that the phone isn't actually theirs; rather, it is a device used primarily to make communication within family more convenient that they can also use for personal pleasure. Setting up the expectation of check-ups while holding developmentally appropriate conversations about who to communicate with can go a long way.

Alternatively, one can install software that allows the parent to track whom the child is communicating with and how frequently. One possibility is the Radar software (described in the link below) that sends alerts to your phone about your child's interactions. Mixing this with the direct approach is probably ideal.

The reality is that we can longer expect to easily check-in on children to ensure they are having safe interactions. While we should not assume that everyone is a creep, do not give benefit of the doubt with strangers (especially if your child hasn't mentioned the person!) and adults. Adults see lines in the sand that children don't, and we have to teach them how to while we identify it for them in the meantime.

http://news.cnet.com/Software-lets-parents-monitor-kids-calls/2009-1025_3-6195666.html

Always,

Dwight